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The average woman would
rather have beauty
than brains, because
the average man can see
better than he can think.

If Mama ain't happy,
then nobody's happy!

Men with an earring make
the best husbands.
They can take pain,
and know how to buy jewelry.

Few women admit their age,
few men act it.

My wife's car is
a broom!

Sometimes I wake up Grumpy.
Other times I let him sleep.

If love is blind,
why is lingerie so popular?

If a man says something in the
woods and there are no women there,
is he still wrong?

I got a Ferrari for my wife.
Best trade I ever made.

Real women don't have hot flashes,
they have power surges.

If only women came with pull-down
menus and on-line help.

Being a Father means
"being there!"

Grow your own dope
Plant a man!

This car is like my husband,
if it ain't yours. . .
don't touch it!

Dad's the boss.
Right Mommy?

Driver is applying make-up!

Next mood swing. . .
6 minutes!

Guys have feelings too,
but like. . .
"Who cares?"

I'm out of estrogen
and I have a gun!

Dinner is ready when
when the smoke alarm goes off!

How many roads must a
man travel before he
admits he is lost?

Love may be blind but
marriage is a real eye-opener.

Men are from earth.
Women are from earth.
Deal with it!

My wife keeps complaining that
I never listen to her. . .
or something like that.

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