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Larry James Having a successful relationship is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights shine up ahead, AND you can make the entire trip that way. When you see a bump in the road or have to take a detour (to avoid a major disagreement), you simply make a mutually beneficial adjustment and keep on going! Couples need to go through the ups and downs, experience the traumas and revel in the successes of their relationship in order to grow. Commitment to complete the journey, come what may, nurtures the love needed to arrive there together. When the relationship is strained, it is often difficult to be your own person. Sometimes you may feel that if you don't do what your partner wants you to do, he/she will be upset and become even more distant. This is where agreements are important. Agree to allow each other to make your own choices, first for yourself and then for the relationship. Remember, women usually respond most to a man's action or lack of action. Men generally respond most to a woman's attitude. So. . . now you know what you need to work on. Men - Action. Women - Attitude. Stay on track. Do what's right. Do unto your partner what you would have them do unto you. Indulge in honoring your combined efforts. Buy your partnership a trophy from a trophy shop. Have it engraved. Present it to each other in your very own private ceremony where you renew your promise to each other to continue to work together. Let go of having to "be right!" Healthy, full functioning couples find happiness is sharing their differences instead of being indifferent to them. They discover happiness in discussing, in a loving way, areas of mutual concern. It's true! Men and women are truly different, AND there are similarities. Healthy couples identify problems, talk openly and honestly about their differences and choose workable solutions. Integrate your mutual intentions for a healthy, happy relationship or the relationship will evaporate. Give each other room to grow. No one can grow in the shade. If you are always hovering over your partner, you are literally smothering the love that could be yours. Partners need time alone. They need space. Give it willingly. Take time to be alone with your thoughts. This is another way to attend to your needs. Even though it may appear that you are from different planets because you share so little in your communication, it is possible for you to lay down your ray guns, seek peace and choose to travel in the same orbit, working together to celebrate your differences in ways that mutually benefit the relationship. Always remember: If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it! Have sexual speed bumps slowed you down? Click here! Here's your relationship road map! Click here for 52 relationship tips! May all your "ups and downs" be beneath the sheets! Copyright © - Larry James - Adapted from the book, "How to Really Love the One You're With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship" by Larry James
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