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Make Some Plans. . . Together!

Larry James

One reason people are unsuccessful in setting relationship goals is that sometimes they don't know what they want until they know what they don't want. Not setting goals is a workable method of getting more of what you don't want. It works every time.

If you don't set relationship goals, you will always be wondering what tomorrow holds. When you get sick and tired of that, you will do something different. Most likely, not before.

My own personal experience has been that when I set relationship goals, when I decide what I want in a healthy love relationship, I begin to get excited about what tomorrow will bring. I begin to experience a knowing that comes from having made a decision to do something different, a knowing that tells me that I am the one who is in charge here. I live my choices. I call the shots. If it is to be, it is up to me. What an awesome discovery! I can make a difference! And I have to make that difference for me before I can make a difference with anyone else.

Be flexible. Cast not your love relationship goals in bronze. Things change. So do people. Attitudes change. And we are in charge of our own individual attitudes. Be sensitive to your love partner. Learn to adjust. It is important to have similar relationship goals. This makes it a little easier to relate to the differences that are always present in any love relationship.

Not setting goals causes anxiety about your relationship. A well laid plan eliminates discontent by promising the possibilities of a brighter future. It is a decision to reinvent your life together, to mutually imagine, then live the kind of relationship others only dream about.

So now you know. If you decide to press on and do something with this new-found knowledge, start by making a list of what you want in your relationship. When you complete this book you may want to go back and re-read Part I. Highlight the parts that you can accept as your own and get in bed with them. Study them until they become a part of you. When you work together on your relationship plan, you will find yourself getting down to the business of doing what must be done to accomplish what you both want.

Life is too short. You must harvest hay while the sun shines. You both will soon be too busy having fun, doing what you love and doing what matters to each other to ever have a concern about whether things will work out. Making plans and working together helps eliminate anxiety about your future together.

Here is the way to give your relationship a big bonus. Make sure some of your own personal goals are designed to contribute to your love partner and to your relationship. When you do good stuff for your love partner, you do good stuff for yourself!

Copyright ę - Larry James. Adapted from the book, "How to Really Love the One You're With."

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