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For YOUR Eyes OnlyLarry James
Have you ever sat down, discouraged and out of steam, stuck and with a sense of
hopelessness about your relationship? Have you ever felt like you needed to
express what you felt? Have you ever taken the opportunity to write some notes
to yourself about how you are feeling, even the feelings you feel uncomfortable
sharing with anyone? Do you feel a lack of freedom to fully express
yourself?
Buy a journal or hardbound notebook. They are available at most book stores or card and party shops. It is a book with blank pages. Another idea would be to open up a special file in your computer and call it "My Journal." You may want to hide it deep within your hard disk so only you know where it is or put a special name on the file that only you know. Then, begin to write. Write what happened, what you did, what your love partner did, how you felt and how you are feeling now, what you think, what your assessment of the situation is, what would have to happen for things to get better, and whatever comes into your mind. Write anything and everything. Journaling is an opportunity to get down and dirty. Tell the truth from your perspective. And be clear that what you write is only your opinion of what happened. From where your love partner stands, there is always another opinion. Get it all out on paper where you can see it.
It is a time for self-honesty. Expressing your deepest feelings, in writing and in your own words, is good therapy. Journaling will help you get your thoughts and feelings out of your head so you can deal with them with your heart. It helps to make your thoughts tangible; it makes them more easily accessible to you for closer scrutiny. It is easier to deal with something you can see and touch. I often review what I have written five or six months previously and discover that I no longer feel that way or I may think, "I can't believe I had such a hard time with that situation." Journaling helps you keep track of your progress. It reveals hot spots, the areas in your relationship that need healing. Give up writing to make yourself look good. Quit worrying about writing the right thing. Write whatever pops into your head and write it however it expresses itself on paper. Remember, it is a time for self-honesty. Keep your integrity intact. You must keep your word with yourself before you can trust yourself to keep your word with someone else. Sometimes the truth is ugly. If the truth hurts, maybe you should be grateful. At least it got your attention. I have often found that what hurts the most or what I want to look at the least, is what I most need to handle first. I have learned that what you resist, persists. When we run from our feelings, they follow us. . . everywhere! Never use time as an excuse. This is important. Take time!
Copyright © - Larry James. Adapted from the book, "How to Really Love the One You're With."
• If you would like to talk one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a private coaching session by telephone. Go to Personal Relationship Coaching for specific details.
LoveNotes for Lovers: Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers (Career Assurance Press).
Author Larry James is a professional speaker. He presents "Relationship
Enrichment LoveShops" nationally for singles and couples.
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