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e-ZINE!
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February 2005 - Issue #29
Publisher, Larry James - Author, Speaker, Relationship Coach
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In this issue
• A Personal Message from Larry James
• LoveNotes for Lovers - Tips for a Better Love Life
• Featured Relationship Article - A Gift of the Heart
• Relationship "Books-of-the-Month" - LoveNotes for Lovers & Triumphs of the Heart
• Relationship Humor - Got SMILES?
• Daily Love Potion - Served from the CelebrateLove.commissary
• Contact Information - We really want to hear from you!
A Personal Message from Larry James:
The Essence of Romance - Are you bankrupt in the romance department? Has the passionate beginning of your relationship cooled down? Too wupped for whoopee?
Romance is a mystery to some of us. And it is often misunderstood. To help us have a clearer picture of romance, first we must define it. If you look up the word in the dictionary you will find that most definitions are vague and the true essence of romance is missing.
Often when coaching couples who have drifted apart, I will ask this question: "Are you still doing the things that brought you together in the first place?" The answer is usually, "No." The romance is gone! This is a big mistake.
The quality of your love relationship has everything to do with romance.
Romance reflects an attitude of interest and pursuit. In the beginning flattering words and positive actions were clearly designed to win the affection of your partner. We put our best foot forward. When pursuit stops, romance generally deteriorates.
Continue the pursuit. It meets a deep emotional need and builds your partner's sense of security in the relationship. Do it with an enthusiastic attitude. Be romantic with intention. Romance reflects thoughtful affection.
A lack of romance in a relationship is a red flag. It doesn't just communicate a lack of pizzazz or that the "honeymoon is over." It sends a message that you no longer value each other; that your partner is a lower priority.
Relationship flounder when partners take each other for granted. What you take for granted, disappears. Taking someone for granted, breeds disrespect, resentment and becomes a wedge between two lovers. Then comes the drifting apart you once feared.
Consider the consequences of romantic neglect. When you lose the spontaneity and freshness of romance, the more boring, predictable and unromantic your relationship becomes.
Romance requires constant observation and forethought concerning the needs, likes and desires of your partner. Discover new things you can do to spend quality time together. What makes the person in your life feel special or loved? Listen for ideas or things your partner would like to have or do.
Can the passion that was ignited with romance in the beginning continue? The answer is, "Yes." It takes effort. It takes a little thought. It takes planning ahead. It takes doing something for your partner on my own initiative without being asked.
Make a promise to your partner to create together a once-a-week "date night!" AND, keep your word. Plan something especially romantic. Let nothing prevent your weekly get together. If you have children, have a trusted friend watch them at their house. Return the favor.
Continuing romance is a matter of respect. Romance is an acknowledgment of value. It is visible evidence of love. It keeps your heart turned toward your partner and develops forward movement.
In a romantic moment, to say, "I love you" is great. However, to redeem the meaning of love in your relationship, you should not just say it out loud, you must show it consistently. Romance demonstrates that the words are true.
Love with positive action is very real and is the essence of true romance.
So. . . since February is the "Love Month," why not begin to be a little more romantic with your partner each and every day. . . throughout the year?
Additional resource:
Read, "1001 Ways to be Romantic" by Greg Godek. Go to: http://www.celebratelove.com/ljbs2.htm
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LoveNote for Lovers. . . A healthy love relationship is a safe place where two lovers can be themselves. No more pretending. It's almost as if both spirits merge. It's about experiencing the freedom to be real and about feeling okay about ourselves and the relationship. No more judgments or preconceived notions of how it 'should' be. It's about each giving consent to be loved and appreciated for who they are and loving each other for having the courage to be that way.
LoveNote for Lovers. . . The energy required for the self-discipline of honesty is far less than the energy required for withholding what is in your heart. Withholding is always a matter of integrity. It is always potentially a lie. The cause of withholding is fear. Love is the answer. Fear cannot exist in the presence of Love.
LoveNote for Lovers. . . It is never appropriate to suppress anger or to disregard how we really feel about it. When we feel anger, it is a very real feeling; at that moment, we have an intimate relationship with it. Anger is difficult to contain. When we are angry, we often feel a need to demonstrate it, talk about it and let people know that we are indeed angry. Only and always talking about it is not enough. Talking about it helps only if your intention is to seek to understand it or to find a way through it, not to justify it or hold on to it.
Sample more LoveNotes: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/lovenote.shtml
Larry's Relationship BLOG! - Periodically, Larry James will post random thoughts, ideas, observations, insights, articles, rants, commentary, suggestions, tips and solutions for better relationships. You are welcome to post your comments on our WebLog (Blog).
Featured Relationship Article
A Gift of the Heart - Want to know how to avoid a gift-giving blunder? To help you develop gift-giving savvy, when you give a gift for Valentine's Day or on any other occasion, make it a gift of the heart.
Read the complete article. . . http://www.CelebrateLove.com/gift.htm.
For a fresh, daily dose of relationship potions
delicately served to you from the CelebrateLove.commissary!
Click here:
http://www.CelebrateLove.com/potion.shtml.
Visit this page often and please pass the word to your friends!
Daily Love Potion
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Featured Relationship "Book-of-the-Month"
Books make grrreat Valentine gifts!
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LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing - Larry James - This book is a collection of reflections on the many aspects of relationships. Every LoveNote is but one more piece of the relationship puzzle. The design of LoveNotes for Lovers is to help people fit the pieces of the relationship puzzle together in a healthy way. Each one is a mini-lesson in love. LoveNotes for Lovers is short, snappy, and easy to read. Open it to any page, and great advice jumps out! You'll refer to it over and over again!
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Triumphs of the Heart: Miraculous True Stories of the Power of Love - Chris Benguhe - Triumphs of the Heart is a diverse collection of remarkable and inspirational true stories about people who have overcome great obstacles - with love as the catalyst for their heroic endeavors. Read amazing accounts of the real-life miracles that love makes possible - twenty-five tales of heroism and healing depicting the invisible but immensely powerful bonds of love that connect us all. Forward by President George W. Bush.
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For hundreds of relationship books, videos, audios and music, visit Larry's Book Store.
http://www.CelebrateLove.com/larrysbookstore.htm
Pass along Larry's newest Website especially for authors & speakers, featuring lots of resources, tips, books & articles. Larry has independently published 4 books and offers "author/speaker coaching!"
Go to: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com
Relationship Humor
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
CelebrateIntimacy.com is the crème de la crème of intimacy Websites!
http://www.CelebrateIntimacy.com
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Wedding ceremonies with romantic elegance and impeccable attention to detail.
Celebrate Intimate Weddings with professional speaker, author, relationship coach and ordained non-denominational minister Larry James.
CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com provides everything you
need for a successful wedding; planning checklists, articles, books, custom wedding ceremonies, pre-marital & post-marital
coaching and more.
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Guy Finley's "Key Lessons" - The wisdom and wit of Guy Finley. Don't miss this opportunity to brighten your life! At every regular meeting at Guy's Foundation in southern Oregon, there's a special board in front of the class where the Key Lesson for that meeting is written out for everyone to consider before, during, and after the talk. Book mark this page and return every day for a breath of fresh air & something new to think about!
FREE Articles for Your Publications & Website
Larry James has written numerous relationship articles available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own website. You may use articles written by Larry James that are included in this eZINE or visit the "Relationship Articles Menu" on his website for a complete list. Send your request by e-mail and he will send you permission and a brief bio for publication with each article.
Relationship Articles MENU: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/articles.htm
For permission to reprint, click here: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/reprintarticles.htm.
Invite Larry James to Speak to Your Group
Larry is available to present keynotes and seminars for private and corporate functions and churches.
http://www.CelebrateLove.com/anniversary.htm!
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