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Issue #32
"LoveNotes for Lovers" e-Zine!

Available by e-mail in text only format.

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Celebrate Love!


May 2005 - Issue #32
Publisher, Larry James - Author, Speaker, Relationship Coach

You received this issue of "LoveNotes for Lovers" eZINE because you completed the eZINE sign-up at: There is a link at the bottom of this eZINE if you decide that you would rather not receive "LoveNotes for Lovers" in the future. We PROMISE to remove you from our e-mailing list immediately.

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In this issue

•  A Personal Message from Larry James
•  LoveNotes for Lovers - Relationship Reflections
•  Featured Relationship Article - Kidding Around With Romance
•  Relationship "Books-of-the-Month" - Creator: The Revelation of Healing Yourself and Others
•  Relationship Humor - Lighten UP!
•  Daily Love Potion - Served from the CelebrateLove.commissary
•  Contact Information - We really want to hear from you!

SMALL Larry James Pic A Personal Message from Larry James:

Accepting Your Partner's Past!

Depending upon the situation, it may not be easy. Trying not to think about it doesn't work. Always thinking about doesn't work either.

If you are in a relationship where someone is always bringing up the past you need to understand that by doing that, they are continuing to reopen the wound. The past can never heal if it continues to live in the present. There is no future in the past. When you focus on the past the present and the future pass you by.

If you've been plagued by something in your partner's past, such as money problems, substance abuse, or the person's previous relationships or sexual history, not forgiving and accepting that the past IS the past can make it difficult to fully commit to the relationship. Those thoughts and feelings that trouble you do not allow Love to fully be present.

Acceptance is it's own reward. Forgiveness is a prerequisite for getting to acceptance and understanding. There is nothing that is unforgivable.

When you can learn to let go of dwelling on something someone did in the past, you also tend to get a burst of energy and self-acceptance. It also gives you the opportunity to focus on a better vision of the future for yourself and your partner.

Perhaps it's time for an insecurity check. It is wise to remember that you too have a past. What is there that needs to be forgiven?

Accepting your memories about someone's past helps you live more fully in the present. You do have control over how you manage your own thoughts and feelings and behavior. The emotional residue of the past keeps you stuck.

Constantly ruminating over your partner's past must stop. Use that overpowering feeling as a means of deepening your bond and commitment with your partner. If your partner was the one who revealed the past that is troublesome to you, this indicates their trust and openness toward you.

If you discovered the past from another source, perhaps it's time to talk about what is bothering you. Be sure to sit still long enough to listen to what your partner has to say about his or her past. Create a loving environment where he or she will feel safe talking to you. It means being vulnerable to one another. That feeling can often be scarier than the prospect of revealing past choices and mistakes.

You might find yourself experiencing another emotion by having this open and honest conversation - increased love, trust, and acceptance towards your partner given what they have endured, what important lessons they learned, and how they became the person they are today. People grow and mature from their mistakes.

It's far more important to love your partner for who they are rather than who you think they should be.

Additional Resources: Read Forgiveness... What's it For? and Communicating is Not Optional.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  The energy required for the self-discipline of honesty is far less than the energy required for withholding what is in your heart. Withholding is always a matter of integrity. It is always potentially a lie. The cause of withholding is fear. Love is the answer. Fear cannot exist in the presence of Love.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .   Depending on your love partner for your feelings of self-worth is a major step in the wrong direction.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  The fire of love will not burn on alone. It must be watched carefully. If we are to keep the fire of love alive, we must do whatever is necessary to keep the fuel for the flames replenished whatever the cost. Loves' fire feeds off the energy we put into keeping it burning!

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  For Singles Only - Make having a great relationship with yourself your number one priority. Spend time working on you. It is a prerequisite to having a healthy love relationship with someone else. Work on developing your own self as an individual. Reinvent a relationship with yourself. Make it a new and exciting relationship; one you can be proud to carry over into your next relationship with someone else. Allow a time for healing the hurts of the past. Nobody wants damaged goods.

Sample more LoveNotes:

  Larry's Relationship BLOG! - Periodically, Larry James will post random thoughts, ideas, observations, insights, articles, rants, commentary, suggestions, tips and solutions for better relationships. You are welcome to post your comments on our WebLog (Blog). Pass the word to your friends!

Featured Relationship Article

Read "Kidding Around With Romance" - Youthful and playful activities can add spark to your relationship. Being playful in adult relationships is a good thing. It's perfect for a first date and can even help light a fire under long-term couples whose affections have cooled.

Read the article. Go to:

For a fresh, daily dose of relationship potions
delicately served to you from the CelebrateLove.commissary!
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Visit this page often and please pass the word to your friends!

LoveNote Link Daily Love Potion LoveNote Link

Featured Relationship "Book-of-the-Month"

Books make grrreat gifts for someone you love!
Creator: The Revelation of Healing Yourself and Others - Mark Earlix - Healing is a gift available to all. In easy-to-understand language, Mark leads readers through a series of emotional, spiritual, and meditative exercises that are a necessary precursor to his lessons on awakening our inherent ability to heal not only ourselves but others as well.

Larry's Review: An excellent step-by-step guide in learning how to accept the gift of healing for yourself. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, you will find this book clearly explained and easily understood.

Creator: The Revelation of Healing Yourself and Others

For hundreds of relationship books, videos, audios and music, visit Larry's Book Store. is the crème de la crème of intimacy Websites!

  Guy Finley's "Key Lessons" - The wisdom and wit of Guy Finley. Don't miss this opportunity to brighten your life! At every regular meeting at Guy's Foundation in southern Oregon, there's a special board in front of the class where the Key Lesson for that meeting is written out for everyone to consider before, during, and after the talk. Book mark this page and return every day for a breath of fresh air & something new to think about!

Pass along Larry's newest Website especially for authors & speakers, featuring lots of resources, tips, books & articles. Larry has independently published 4 books and offers "author/speaker coaching!"

Go to:

Relationship Humor

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness - and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

Wedding ceremonies with romantic elegance and impeccable attention to detail.

Celebrate Intimate Weddings with professional speaker, author, relationship coach and ordained non-denominational minister Larry James. Larry James will travel to perform your wedding ceremony wherever your budget allows! provides everything you need for a successful wedding; planning checklists, articles, books, custom wedding ceremonies, pre-marital & post-marital coaching and more.

LoveNote. . . "Thank you, Larry, for the wonderful ceremony! Everything went perfectly and we couldn't have been more pleased! The blending of the sands ceremony was a hit with our guests, and nice for us too with a lifelong keepsake! We would recommend you to anyone, and already have - Tim's cousin is getting married in the next year or two, so expect another call!" - Nikki and Tim Townsend

FREE Articles for Your Publications & Website

Larry James has written numerous relationship articles available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own website. You may use articles written by Larry James that are included in this eZINE or visit the "Relationship Articles Menu" on his website for a complete list. Send your request by e-mail and he will send you permission and a brief bio for publication with each article.

Relationship Articles MENU:

For permission to reprint, click here:

Invite Larry James to Speak to Your Group

Larry is available to present keynotes and seminars for private and corporate functions and churches.!

Contact Information & Advertising Rates

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Larry James
P.O. Box 12695
Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695

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