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Issue #70
"LoveNotes for Lovers" e-Zine!

Available by e-mail in text only format.

Join Now!

Celebrate Love!

July 2008 - Issue #70
Publisher, Larry James - Author, Speaker, Relationship Coach

You received this issue of "LoveNotes for Lovers" eZINE because you completed the eZINE sign-up at:

If you would rather read this eZINE online, go to:

In this issue

•  A Personal Message from Larry James
•  LoveNotes for Lovers
•  Featured Relationship Article - Make Some Plans. . . Together!
•  Relationship "Book-of-the-Month" - The Credit Diet: How to Shed Unwanted Debt and Achieve Fiscal Fitness
•  Relationship Humor
•  Bride & Groom of the Month! - View their photo gallery!
•  Guy Finley's "Key Lesson"
•  Daily Love Potion - Served from the CelebrateLove.commissary
•  Contact Information - Tell us what you like best about LoveNotes for Lovers

SMALL Larry James Pic A Personal Message from Larry James:

Arguments call attention to the stuff in our life that need to be worked on. It is one of the greatest turnoffs for great intimacy.

Arguing about a problem rarely settles anything. Immature people sometimes start arguments to avoid cose intimacy. It is difficult to reach agreement when both love partners are angry and holding on to their position, choosing to be right instead of happy!

Joseph Joubert once said, "The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress." The rules of argument say that one must win and one must lose. This is a bad idea and does little to support a healthy love relationship.

You must have agreements about how you communicate about issues and concerns. A few suggested agreements are: stop defending your position and only listen, don't raise your voice (especially watch your TONE of voice), don't argue. . . have a conversation "about" the issues and concerns. . . one that demonstrates respect for your love partnerÕs right to have his or her own opinion about things.

Let the other person fully express what is on his or her mind. Take turns doing this. Negotiate a win-win solution, agree to disagree, agree to support each other in keeping your agreements, agree to call attention to the fact that your love partner may be skirting the issues or bringing up "other" stuff to avoid the "real" issue. (Have an agreement about HOW you do this.)

If what your partner is saying is causing you anger or resentment, then have agreements about how to talk about that without intentionally saying "hurtful" things. There are more, but this will get you started.

A calm, low-volume discussion is recommended, the kind that does not seek to make one love partner wrong and the other right. It is a discussion that searches for understanding, one that releases tension and facilitates an emotional breakthrough that can help your relationship evolve to a new level of love and understanding. It takes TWO to tangle; TWO to have an argument!!

No one can "argue" if there is no one to argue with. This is not just your love partner's problem. It's yours, too! You both are into being RIGHT or you wouldn't argue. This way of being with each other obviously doesn't work! Don't do this to your relationship!

Someone once said, "There are three sides to every story - yours, mine and the truth!" Wise love partners give up being right in favor of searching for the truth. An argument is NEVER more important than the relationship! It will only cause intimacy to become an endangered pleasure.

If you want really close intimacy. . . reach some new agreements about how to talk about your disagreements.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  Insecurities bring forth jealousy, which, is a cry for more love. It is within your rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts' surface, however, the indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person you may fear losing.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  When misunderstandings surface, it is easy to misinterpret what is really going on. Remember that how you express your anger is being translated by someone who has no idea how you feel. It is as if love partners speak two different languages. It is often difficult to remember this when you are in the heat of battle. Wait for the dust to settle, then ask your lover to translate their feelings in a way that you can listen. . . with understanding.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  To live peacefully together in a responsible way, we must learn to understand that we are only responsible for our own individual thoughts, ideas, attitudes, decisions and actions and never for those of our love partner. To neglect our own responsibilities in the relationship in favor of our love partner's responsibility is codependency.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  The psychological importance of working through painful resentments must not be underestimated. When old patterns are broken, a whole new world of possibility is born. Not to release and rise above suppressed feelings of hurt and anger is to remain imprisoned by them.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  Healthy, committed love partners will say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong," and mean it, rather than hold on to being right or walking away.

From the book, "LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing!" by Larry James

Sample more LoveNotes:

Is there a dark cloud hanging over your relationship?

Larry james will give it the hook! He offers Relationship Coaching for both singles who want a committed relationship, and couples who need help regaining intimacy in their relationship, or who want to deepen their levels of intimacy.

Call Larry James for a very private relationship coaching session and experience lots of "a-ha's!" Call for a daytime or evening coaching appointment - 800-725-9223 (Greater Phoenix area - 480-998-9411). Check out Larry's Personal Guarantee! The fringe benefit? A more loving, peaceful, happy relationship.

Larry gets LoveNotes. . . "I couldn't seem to get from under the dark, dismal cloud that kept following me from relationship to relationshp. Thank God, I found your Website. In less than an hour you defined the situation more clearly and offered several solutions. No more rain on my parade. Yea! Thank you, Larry. You were a Godsend."

More info:

Thank you to all who take the time to send us special e-mail requesting topics, etc., for our eZINE. We love hearing from you! Speak YOUR mind!? We would love to hear what topics YOU would most like to see covered in upcoming issues of the LoveNotes for Lovers eZINE. Send your suggestions to:

Larry's Relationship BLOG! - Periodically, Larry James will post random relationship thoughts, ideas, observations, insights, articles, rants, commentary, suggestions, tips and solutions for better relationships. You are welcome to post your comments on our WebLog (BLOG). Pass the word to your friends! Go to:

Featured Relationship Article

Read "Make Some Plans. . . Together!" - One reason people are unsuccessful in setting relationship goals is that sometimes they don't know what they want until they know what they don't want. Not setting goals is a workable method of getting more of what you don't want. It works every time.

Read the article. Go to: t-shirt
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For a fresh, daily dose of relationship potions
delicately served to you from the CelebrateLove.commissary!
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Visit this page often and please pass the word to your friends!

LoveNote Link Daily Love Potion LoveNote Link

Featured Relationship "Book-of-the-Month"

Books make grrreat gifts for someone you love!

The Credit Diet The Credit Diet: How to Shed Unwanted Debt and Achieve Fiscal Fitness - John Fuhrman - It's no big surprise that each year thousands of people fall into debt. What is shocking is that many of us accept the fact that we could be in debt for the rest of our lives. John Fuhrman should know because he has been there, but he decided to put a plan together that would eliminate debt from his life for good.

Larry's Review: With the economy the way it is, this would be a good time to read this book!

Larry's Newest Book can be found at Business Networking HQ:

For hundreds of relationship books, videos, audios and music, visit Larry's Book Store. is the crème de la crème of intimacy Websites!

Guy Finley's "Key Lessons" - The wisdom and wit of Guy Finley. Don't miss this opportunity to brighten your life! At every regular meeting at Guy's Foundation in southern Oregon, there's a special board in front of the class where the Key Lesson for that meeting is written out for everyone to consider before, during, and after the talk. Book mark this page and return every day for a breath of fresh air & something new to think about!

Sample: We must look upon our knowledge of others who have hurt us as a special kind of doorway, and not as a potential psychological weapon. To use it as a doorway means that we can learn how to walk past the parts of us that want to punish others for their act of ignorance against us. And we are helped to make this more compassionate choice by our remembrance that the first person to be injured by any dark design acted against another is the one who carries it out.

Pass along Larry's Website especially for authors & speakers, featuring lots of resources, tips, books & articles. Larry has independently published 4 books and offers "author/speaker coaching!"

Go to:

Relationship Humor

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there!"

Wedding ceremonies with romantic elegance and impeccable attention to detail.

Celebrate Intimate Weddings with professional speaker, author, relationship coach and ordained non-denominational minister Larry James. Larry James will travel to perform your wedding ceremony wherever your budget allows! provides everything you need for a successful wedding; planning checklists, articles, books, custom wedding ceremonies, pre-marital & post-marital coaching and more.

Wedding Chronicle logo
Larry James WINS Again!

Larry James has been selected as the "Best Officiant" in the Greater Phoenix area by The Wedding Chronicle's 2007 & 2008 Readers' Poll! - Read more!

LoveNote. . . "One part of our wedding that went very well was our selection of Larry James as our officiant. He took the time to meet us prior to the big day to help us prepare the vows for our wedding. And he delivered wonderfully on the big day. What a relief. He is a very considerate person and he loves what he does for a living. It showed at our wedding day and we greatly appreciated that." - Staci & Jay Feretto

To view the Feretto Photo Gallery, go to: .html

FREE Articles for Your Publications & Website

Larry James has written numerous relationship articles available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own website. You may use articles written by Larry James that are included in this eZINE or visit the "Relationship Articles Menu" on his website for a complete list. Send your request by e-mail and he will send you permission and a brief bio for publication with each article.

Relationship Articles MENU:

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Larry James
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