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Issue #12
"LoveNotes for Lovers" e-Zine!

Available in text only, AOL format or html format.

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Celebrate Love!


June 2003 - Issue #12
Publisher, Larry James

You received this issue of "LoveNotes for Lovers" eZINE because you completed the eZINE sign-up at: There is a link at the bottom of this eZINE if you decide that you would rather not receive "LoveNotes for Lovers" in the future. We PROMISE to remove you from our e-mailing list immediately.

In this issue

•  A Personal Message from Larry James
•  LoveNotes for Lovers - Relationship Inspiration
•  Featured Relationship Article - What is Love?
•  Relationship "Book-of-the-Month" - Creating the Functional Family
•  Relationship Humor - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
•  Daily Love Potion - Served from the CelebrateLove.commissary
•  Contact Information - Please send us your comments!

SMALL Larry James Pic A Personal Message from Larry James:

We often expect our love partner to make the best choices for themselves and our relationship and when they are not our choices, we often get angry or disappointed. . . or both. Most people call this situation a problem; a problem we create by our expectations.

Try this: "no expectations, fewer disappointments." It's that simple. Not easy. Simple.

No expectations equal unconditional love. We all experience the need to have healthy choices exercised and when they don't show up, we either chose to have conversations about them or not. If the choices are abusive and therefore unacceptable, we begin to think about making a responsible choice to leave the relationship. However, always picking our lover apart because their choices are not the ones we would make can only point the relationship in the direction of failure.

"Okay," you say, "that's nice, but everyone has expectations!" Perhaps.

Today's lesson to learn is this: unfulfilled expectations always cause problems. Think about it. Your most recent issue with your partner relates in some way to an expectation that you had that didn't get fulfilled. Right?

Instead of being consistently confused by what you "expect" from your partner (and seldom get), instead focus and communicate your "needs." Most people do not do this. First, "you" must be clear about what you need from the relationship. Second, let your partner in on your little secret.

If we could accept the notion that everyone is doing the best they can, regardless of whether their choices are our choices, our attitude about our relationship would improve and perhaps the relationship we have would become the relationship we enjoy being in.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  Anger hurts most whoever is angry. Choosing to be angry is choosing to suffer. Suffering is always optional. Only express your anger to get it out, not to win. In a healthy love relationship, expressions of anger are always followed by expressions of love.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  Open and intimate conversation is the only way you can avoid the mistake of only giving what you would like to receive instead of giving what your love partner really needs. Negotiate for what you both want and need and respect the differences.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  For Women Only - When you feel your love partner lagging behind in the relationship, it is often difficult to back away from what seems to be a responsibility to assist him. Smothering your lover with attempts to help can give the appearance that you think he is unable to make his own responsible choices.

No one can change anything without the freedom to do so. Smothering feels like 'no freedom' to a man. Your energy will soon be depleted if your love partner has little desire to change. Nurture him with your love and support. Be there when he needs someone to listen. Only offer help when it is requested.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  An essential part of true listening is the discipline of temporarily giving up or setting aside your own prejudices, frames of reference and desires to experience as much as possible your love partner's world from the inside; hearing what is truly from the heart.

From the book, LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing by Larry James.

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Recommended by Larry James

Featured Relationship Article

What is Love? - How do you define love? Some say it's mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, imaginary, thought-provoking, inspirational, intuitional, joyous, immeasurable, ecstasy, and undefinable. Perhaps.

Read the complete article. . .

Has your relationship hit a brick wall?

Things not so "hot" in the bedroom? Not much romance? Wanna heat things up?  -  Larry James will help you break through the barrier!

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Heart made of brick

Larry gets LoveNotes. . . "Thank you so very much for your kind communications with me last night and today. Your suggestions and comments are thought-provoking and insightful. I counsel with many people about their situations, but when it comes to my own, I seem to lose objectivity and need guidance myself! - A Therapist (Name withheld by request)"

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Featured Relationship "Book-of-the-Month"

Creating the Functional Family - - David F. Laughray - A weekly guide for all families with children of all ages, blended families included. David Laughray takes a stand for re-creation of the family in America.

Larry's Review: If You Have Children. . . Read This Book! This book is full of healthy ideas that can bond the community of family into a loving, creative, supportive team. It's a weekly guide for all families with children of all ages, blended families included. David Laughray takes a stand for re-creation of the family in America. A must-read book for every family on the planet! I highly recommend it.

Books make grrreat gifts!

Creating the Functional Family
For hundreds of relationship books, videos, audios and music, visit Larry's Book Store.

Relationship Humor

A newlywed left work one Friday afternoon but, being payday, rather than going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

Finally appearing at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Eventually, his bride stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

"That would be perfectly fine with me," he snapped.

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

By Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough to where he could see her out of the corner of his right eye. Banner is the crème de la crème of intimacy Websites!

Invite Larry James to perform a special ceremony at your wedding. . .

Custom designed with romantic elegance and impeccable attention to detail.

FREE Articles for Your Publications & Website

Larry James has written numerous relationship articles available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own website. You may use articles written by Larry James that are included in this eZINE or visit the "Relationship Articles Menu" on his website for a complete list. Send your request by e-mail and he will send you permission and a brief bio for publication with each article.

Relationship Articles MENU:

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Invite Larry James to Speak to Your Group

Larry is available to present keynotes and seminars for private and corporate functions. April 2, 2003 was his 16th anniversary as a professional speaker and author. He's celebrating all year long by offering a 16% discount off his regular speaking fee for any speaking engagement booked and conducted during 2003. Hurry! This offer expires on December 10, 2003.!

Contact Information & Advertising Rates

If you or someone you know would like to advertise in our eZINE, please send your inquiry to:

Larry James
P.O. Box 12695
Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695

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